Friday, November 04, 2005

God Hates Fags...Apparently

I have spent most of the past few days alerting my friends to my latest internet find. Admittedly, it would seem that I'm a little behind on this discovery; all the same, I think it's worth the while mentioning since this little gem's existence seemed to be news to all my friends as well.

The site is called and it is, extrodinarily, the official site of the Westboro Bapist Church. It's run by a minister of God called Fred Phelps, whose malign little mug can hopefully be seen above. Despite his butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth smile and faintly comical ten-gallon hat, Fred is, alas, a man filled with an unquenchable hate. There are many things that Fred hates: the marines, the Left, the press and, bizarrely, Sweden, to name but a few. But the thing most abhorrent to little ol' Fred and his darling parisheners - the common theme in their myriad dislikes - is homosexuality. Those pesky, God-forsaken fags have got Fred and his ilk all hot and bothered. Like the filthy, disease-ridden sodomites they are, the fags have spread across the world like a plague, infiltrating deep into its vital systems. That they are filthy and disease ridden will surprise nobody that has read Fred's carefully verified fact file on fag life. Here one can find such gems as '10% of fags eat shit and/or drink contaminated enema water' and 'the median age of death of fags is 42'. (Hmmm, you learn something new every day.) That they have infiltrated deep into the vital systems of Society will come as no great surprise to those who have recently been on one of Fred's little pickets against fags and 'fag-enablers'. Fred is none to pleased with the authorities who have, in the past, intervened to move him and his fellow haters on. Unfortunately the authorities don't seem to have reckoned with Fred's big, bearded friend in the sky, who, Fred rejoices, has smote the Marines down by the thousands in Iraq and unleashed great hurricaines to chastise the idolent Americains for not punishing fags with death. (Well, fair's fair, eh?)

Sadly, I fear, for Phelps at least, this sinner is far from venial.


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8:27 pm  

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