Monday, December 11, 2006

Preparations

Just two little days till I get on the flight to New York. Woohoo! Can't wait.

Anyway, on surveying my wardrobe, I realised that most of the rags dangling therein would not be out of place in one of those Victoria and Albert museum past fashions exhibitions. These were not the trendy threads that I imagined myself swanning about the Big Apple in. There was nothing to be done about it: I would simply have to go shopping!

And God do I hate shopping! I know, I know: I'm gay; I'm not supposed to be able to go more than two days without needing to spend £500 on the latest Dolce & Gabbana must-have, but it's just too stressful! You walk through the shop door and within seconds the first of the 'ever-so-helpful' shop assistants sweep down upon you to ask if you need any help. With what precisely might I need help? Looking at things? I can manage that just fine, thanks! Finding things I like? How the fuck are they going to know what I like! I end up being chased round the store by these intrusive busybodies until I eventually can't take any more and am harried out of the door.

If I actually manage to find anything I like I have to go through the torture out trying it on. That's if anything vaguely approximating my size is on the rack, rather than the XXL tents or XXS corsets that only ever seem to be left by the time I get there. Skulking into the funfair hall of mirrors that is the changing room, you find it has been lit in the most unflattering manner possible so that even if you were wearing a bespoke £10,000 garment by Versace (rather than the badly-made £10 Topman T-shirt you actually have in your hand), you'd still look like a sack of shit. You look around nervously, hoping that no stray Japanese whaling ships might be passing through and try to harpoon you by mistake. And I'm sure the only point of the person at the entrance to the changing room is to make you feel even worse when you have to hand them back because they don't fit. You can almost hear them whisper under their breath, "Well, did you really think you were going to fit into that, fatso?!"

Anyway, despite it all, I did actually manage to pick up a few new threads though, as soon as I got back from the shops, I had to run to the gym and it's only now two days later that I've actually been able to bring myself eat.
OK, so maybe I am a little gay after all...

12 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm female and could have written nearly the same rant.

6:25 pm  
Blogger Bryn said...

I know you have good intentions Kate but i am not sure that will be particularly reassuring to any gay guy! B x

11:14 pm  
Blogger Kate said...

Nah, I'm just pointing out that shopping isn't necessarily a "girly" thing...

Although having said that, if I see a pair of shoes I like in a window... ;-)

5:11 am  
Blogger Angel City's Devil said...

Why are all the best writers from the UK? can't wait for an update!

check out my blog, it's in the same vein:

www.angelcitysdevil.com

5:04 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I have just found the perfect site for you! :)

www.venials.com

LOL

3:35 pm  
Blogger Dr Vegas said...

Come back! We miss you. And while I'm at it, here's a new blog from another disgruntled doc:

http://laylasramblings.blogspot.com

4:18 pm  
Blogger Lizzy said...

oh the blogosphere is empty without you.

I know you're probably in the slough of despond along with all those other candidates for a trip to hell in a handcart, but give us a break. Post. Please. we wanna know what happens next, unlike my own 3 readers a week, but heell it makes me feel better and as a medic you'd appreciate that.

lizzy

7:13 pm  
Blogger Billy said...

As a gay boy stuck in a country with NO retail theraphy oppertunities at all, I loved this post. Keep 'em coming.

Greetings from Kenya.

2:06 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. My name is Woodrow Boyer. I’d like to ask for a moment of your time.

I am a survivor of Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis of over 70% of my body, brought on by ingestion of a Sulfa-drug. Other than sporadic ½ attempts at research – there is very little known about Stevens-Johnson syndrome and Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis. Up until now, people had no one source for true information on SJS and TEN.

Stevens – Johnson syndrome and Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis is an insidious condition in which the human body fools itself into thinking its skin and mucus membranes, both inside the body and outside the body, are foreign invaders; therefore the body attempts to rid itself of the skin and internal organs. This condition is usually caused by an immunological response to an ingested drug; usually an antibiotic or an INSAID {Advil, Ibuprofen}.

Most physicians have never seen an active case; and if they were to, they are not taught in medical school the protocol for treating it. Until now, there has been no one standard of care for SJS / TEN.

I have just published a new book that your house physicians need to read on Stevens – Johnson Syndrome and Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis.

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7:50 pm  
Blogger pammi said...

HOW IS ANGIOPLASTY CARRIED OUT


In today’s modern world, changing lifestyles are leading to increase in the number of diseases related to the heart. With that, many techniques of surgery for the heart have come up. Of all the available options for surgery, Angioplasty has proved to be one of the safest ways.

Angioplasty was first used in the late 70’s. It involves the widening of an obstructed blood artery, which has happened because of atherosclerosis, by mechanical means. A balloon catheter, which is an empty one and is collapsed, is taken and it is passed through the location where the surgery is to be done. Then the catheter is inflated by pressure which is around 200 times compared to that of the blood pressure.

The inflated balloon has sufficient pressure in it to crush most of the fatty deposits on the sides of the artery walls. Thus, the artery opens up properly and the flow becomes proper and the obstruction is now minimal. After this is done, the catheter is collapsed and made empty and is finally withdrawn.

Angioplasty is of several types based on the location of the arteries which have been blocked. Some of these are Renal, Cerebral, Coronary, etc.

Once Angioplasty is done, the patient is kept under observation for a day or two. The blood pressure is monitored continuously along with the heart beat rate. Proper medications are given if necessary.

Since the time from which it has been put to use, Angioplasty has helped lot of patients and has saved their life. The best outcome of it is the prevention of heart attacks and bypass surgeries.

8:47 am  
Anonymous Nurse and Hospital Stories said...

"OK, so maybe I am a little gay after all..."

haha. Yeah you are. But I love it if you tell a shop assistant that her assistance is not needed. You will look like you are very mean. :)

Enjoy,
Peny@discount uniforms

8:26 am  
Blogger In Rude Health said...

Dear Venial Sinner,

I know you've not blogged for many years now, but I'm giving you a try just in case you pick up comments...

My name is Robbie, and I'm editing In Rude Health, a book of humorous medical anecdotes that will be illustrated and published at Christmas-time by Freight Books, a small Scottish publisher (www.freightbooks.co.uk). In my research for this book I've been reading through blogs such as yours, and I was wondering if you would have any you'd like to contribute. Naturally, the more risqué the might be the better, but what I'm aiming to do is make something funny and enjoyable, but which also shows Joe public just what sort of things you folk in the NHS have to deal with.

Naturally all stories submitted will be treated as completely anonymous. I do hope you will consider submitting a story or two. Please email them to: inrudehealth@gmail.com

Best wishes,

Robbie

12:24 pm  

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