Monday, December 26, 2005

Epiphany

It has been nice to be home. There is nothing here for me now apart from my parents, but the whole place has a familiarity that I find deeply comforting. And, perhaps because I have little else to do, these little sojourns up North afford me some much needed thinking time.
It has become apparent to me recently that I've become increasingly shoddy at maintaining my relationships with people. Slowly but surely I've got worse. I started making less and less effort to arrange to meet up with people. I never phone anybody - not my friends, not my family, not the Australian. I read text messages people send and, unable to find the energy to reply immediately, put it off until I end up forgetting to do so altogether, which must appear unforgivably rude. I have relied too heavily on the goodwill of others in not abandoning me completely as a lost cause and can only be thankful that this has been forthcoming. So far, that is.
Then I saw the light. An awakening, a revelation, an epiphany. Not of the religious sort, but of a personal nature. It is too private to go into the actual substance of it, but, as with any epiphany, it is not the actual sign that is important but the significance it carries. Like the Spirit of Christmas Future, that experience painted in an instant an all-too-clear picture of what would come if I continued in that vein. Undoubtedly I would get more and more lazy and the goodwill and patience of others cannot be stretched indefinately. Eventually people would give up - quite rightly - on such a one-sided relationship and I would be left all on my own with nobody to blame but myself. Alone...and a slug.
And so like Ebeneezer himself, I did thank the Lord that all was not yet lost and did declare that changes there must be and changes there will be! Let's just hope I can succeed in turning words into actions. After all, an epiphany is for life not just for Christmas.

3 Comments:

Blogger vegas said...

Maybe if I retire from the NHS I would have a few weekends and nights free to catch up with friends and family?
Happy Xmas/New Year to you Dr Sinner

7:17 pm  
Blogger The Venial Sinner said...

Ah, ha'way now, we do get most weekends off. It's just the fact that we have to work any that depresses me. Still, the pays not bad, eh?

Happy xmas, Dr Vegas.

12:25 am  
Blogger vegas said...

True. Problem is, I don't have any time to enjoy the good salary. All I seem to do is work like a bitch for 3 months then spend a fortune on a 10 day holiday, and repeat.

Anyway, I always have 2006 to look forward to. My plan is to report to the Acute Medical Unit at 9am on New Year's Day, for a lovely 12.5 hour shift. Can't wait...

6:17 pm  

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